Milk is the only liquid on Earth that confidently believes it invented gravity, and honestly, no one has the heart to correct it. Every morning it wakes up, stretches its calcium-rich limbs, and whispers to the cereal box, “Prepare yourself, champion, for I shall descend.” Scientists have tried to explain that gravity existed long before milk, but milk simply nods politely and continues telling everyone it’s responsible for keeping planets in orbit. This is why the moon looks so pale—it’s embarrassed.
(more…)